Hell To Pay

hide behind what you want
the truth is not yours to flaunt
lie as much as you wish
there's nothing,forever is myth

look around, defenseless
returning now is pointless
and there'll be hell to pay

we will destroy each other

PROMENADE

4 am comes in again
The places start to close
Tonight it’s warm and I’m outside
I think I’m walking home
I wave the cabs away from me
Without a single word
Suddenly I’m by the beach
I’ll never go back home


For reasons that aren’t known to me
I’m followed by the dust
Another night of solitude
Will end my fragile soul
I talk and nothing talks to me
Not air, not dreams not hope
Police and garbage men delete
The night before the dawn

I cannot bear another night on my own
I cannot sleep on this bed that’s made of stone
I know it’s gone on for far too long and I’m not well
But I am sick and I’m fed up sinking lower into hell

I promise that I’ll try but I don’t know if I can make it here
I want to smile but maybe it’s too late for one like me.

THIS BLUE WORLD

in our corner
into this blue world
safe and frozen,
trying to hold on

we push ourselves and never mind
feeling so unique
we brace ourselves for the decline
the hill is very steep

in the blue days
pretending it’s a crime
float in inner space
destroying our minds

we kill ourselves, do it twice
kissing bloody cheeks
we offer our empty minds
failing to believe

in the arms of a stranger
intoxicating danger

For a song not yet written

it's not that you lied
but i hated your truth
it's not that you tried
but you looked so damn cool
and i still recognize the face that i touched
underneath all that doom

it's not that it seemed
but it was nonetheless
it never was cursed
and it never was blessed
remember i pushed what i could
because i only wanted this

and now that it's torn
all i can do is preface the split and weep
over the ashes of what never was

level and steady wins it
but i always seem to lose

Finally

time for me to go
whisper my name...yes, i know.
sometimes the end will bring us hope
of something better that we can grab hold

wrap me in blankets and gently croon
in the park where we danced, where the trees never bloom
under concrete estates where the children are slaves
and they never will feel their hearts break

take my hand it does not shake
for the first time i know i'm not afraid
and remember
all of these words are just words:

now lonely's just a word
now sad is just a word
now pain is just a word
now hurt is just a word

one day (a substitute for sadness)

every morning just the same
don't even want to know it's name
just want to tear out this disgrace

i don't want to live this way
i want to live like everybody else
for just one day

i can't find my wicked soul
i wish i wasn't getting old

i don't want to live this way
i want to be like everybody else
for just one day

i don't want it this way
i want to live like everybody else for just
one day

Fickle and troubled

Stop dragging me under
To your land of happy endings
There's no time for pretending
The world is still full of wonder

Never mind everlasting
I'll take one day without crying
One minute when i'm not dying
In this mess of destruction

Don't you give me problems
There's more to life than regretting
Like wanting, hoping, forgetting
Our days are fickle and troubled