Feel my skin, with winter hands, right on
Evil is what hides inside, you know?
In this war, I will go far I will be their whore
Wearing thin, this mask of lithium
Walk right in, my flesh and sin, and choke
Spend the night, betray your moral code
And my child is running wild, it cannot be stopped
What if I were to die alone?
My little one, retracted from the sun
Go away, leave me be, I’m done
Nothing in my soul is good, and nothing is pure
I’ll live to die, and never cry, you know.
I’m evil; I’m poison in your blood.
I’m sick; I’m cancer in your bones
I’m angry, a hundred thousand bombs
I’m sad and small; I’m just like everyone.
It goes through my fingers and then down my throat,
I drink it so I can pretend I can cope,
I go through the motions and people believe,
That I am the one that they always can see,
And it helps to stop the screams.
I do it again to forget that I’m here,
When I look in the mirror I won’t seem to care
It helps me to cry without wanting to die
I do it so I’ll dream of another life
And it hurts to see, I’m so ugly
It hurts to not be enough.
But,
In the nighttime, I can be free
In the nighttime I can be me
In the bar light, they understand
In the nighttime, I rise again.
Walking from the clinic that day
Melting tears with the London rain
Tell you we did the right thing
The truth is I feel like a killer
I wish I thought that we had a choice
I wanted so hard to stop the hurt
And give my name to your baby boy
Eloise if it was a girl
I’m leaving, across the water, to different weather, another country
Will you join me, in other seasons, another lifetime, far away?
Nightmare babies crawl on my skin
As you lay there and fake your sleep
You need to go, and I know you will
Pain can scar, but then so can guit
I broke your heart and I crushed your world
That I do know without your words
Stunted joy of our would-be child
Eloise if it was a girl
I’m leaving, across the water, to different weather, another country
Will you join me, in other seasons, another lifetime, far away?
